What is what to do when you hate your mom?

It's completely normal to experience complex emotions towards your mom, even feelings of hate at times. Remember, feelings are valid, but it's how you manage them that matters. Here's some guidance:

• Acknowledge Your Feelings: Don't dismiss or suppress your emotions. Recognizing you're feeling this way is the first step. It's okay to feel angry, frustrated, or resentful.

• Identify the Root Cause: Try to pinpoint the specific reasons behind your feelings. Is it a pattern of behavior, a specific event, or unmet expectations? Understanding the source of your anger will help you address it. Consider if it's temporary (a recent argument) or a deeper, long-standing issue.

• Create Space: If you're constantly clashing, creating physical and emotional distance can be helpful. Limit interactions when possible. This allows both of you to cool down and gain perspective. Take some personal time for yourself.

• Communicate Respectfully (If Possible): If you feel safe and able, try to communicate your feelings to your mom calmly and respectfully. Use "I" statements to express how her actions make you feel (e.g., "I feel hurt when..."). Be prepared for her to not understand or agree, and be ready to walk away if the conversation becomes unproductive or hostile. However, you may not be able to do this safely, and that's okay.

• Set Boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries is crucial. Decide what you're willing to accept and what you're not. Communicate these boundaries to your mom and enforce them consistently. For example, "I'm not going to discuss my personal life with you anymore" or "I need you to respect my privacy."

• Seek Support: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about your feelings. Getting an outside perspective can be incredibly valuable. A therapist can provide coping mechanisms and strategies for managing your relationship with your mom.

• Consider Professional Help: If your relationship with your mom is significantly impacting your mental health or well-being, consider seeking professional therapy or counseling. A therapist can help you process your emotions, develop coping strategies, and navigate the challenges in your relationship. If your mother is engaging in abusive or toxic behaviour, you should speak to a professional.

• Focus on What You Can Control: You can't change your mom's behavior, but you can control your own reactions and choices. Focus on things like self-care, setting boundaries, and managing your own emotions.

• Forgiveness (Eventually): Forgiveness doesn't mean condoning her behavior. It means releasing the anger and resentment you're holding onto for your own well-being. This is a long process and may not be possible in all situations.

Here are some links to resources you may find helpful:

• Acknowledge%20Your%20Feelings
• Identify%20the%20Root%20Cause
• Create%20Space
• Communicate%20Respectfully%20(If%20Possible)
• Set%20Boundaries
• Seek%20Support
• Consider%20Professional%20Help
• Focus%20on%20What%20You%20Can%20Control
• Forgiveness%20(Eventually)